Finally the truth?

The truth!

Early humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer %26amp; would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies, hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

Liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers."

Finally the truth?

Not too bright, are ya? Haven't realized that ppl read about 2 sentences then blah blah blah and fade out....

Finally the truth?

What exactly is the question you're asking? Or are you just rambling to make yourself feel important?

Finally the truth?

exactly!! cudos to you , my fine American friend!

Finally the truth?

Not the truth. Bold generalizations like this are amusing, but pretty stupid. And, I'm a conservative...

Finally the truth?

My liberal response....

I hate europeans.....specially the french even though I'd love to go there and think grey goose is good booze

I prefer miller high life but will drink a bud light once in a while. Bourbon is my favorite booze and I like pinot noir or burgundy with my mid rare steak and usually don't drink wine with white meat.

I'm not a social worker (what a shi**y life) or an attorney but have a college degree and am working on another.

My team is in the national league and I like watching a more defensive game and therefore think the pitcher should always bat.

My liberal parents are teachers and produce little liberals and conservatives who grow up to be attornies and and corporate executives alike.

A few more liberal accomplishments.....

-declaration of independence (liberal idea....conservatives were also known as loyalists)

-civil rights (dems can't really take this one but liberals can)

-public school (before this education was just for the wealthy)

Cute story but not really applicable. I know plenty of conservatives who only drink wine and won't touch a steak.

Finally the truth?

Get a life!

Finally the truth?

A wise man once said that it is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think your are stupid than to speak and remove all doubt!

Well, all doubt is removed here!

Lastly, I am a conservative republican. A criminal defense attorney and really found your ramblings quite stupid.

Hey YOU! Out of the gene pool!

Finally the truth?

LMFAO! Proud Law Enforcement conservative.